A Complaint I Can’t Seem to Make
I hope, over the coming months, to fill you in on what these people have done to me — and what they’ll continue to do. I really want to complain, but my life is so much better.
It’s been a sea of spiritual experiences since I got dragged into that bid that turned into this host, and my life changed for the better (Column 1 has a nice seat reserved for our leadership on that one).
I hope, over the coming months, to fill you in on what these people have done to me — and what they’ll continue to do. I really want to complain, but my life is so much better.
Like, let’s look at a recent event. I went to this NECYPAA thing, had a great time, bonded with fellows, and was feeling a bit of a service buzz. (I am being told this is called “insomnia-induced madness” — more on that to come!)
Anyways, after the event some of us folks didn’t want to stop the vibes, so we went to hang out. Turns out one of our number wasn’t feeling great. So I got an opportunity to actually be a friend — I was able to, like, be “normal” and “supportive” and found myself “overwhelmed” with “love,” “compassion,” and the “presence of God.”
So anyways, life goes on. I say my farewells, and the next day I go about my remaining tasks. Some of that involved just stuff I’ve always done — neither here nor there. Stuff that vibes clean on an inventory: no harms, just life as life has always been. Thing is — it wasn’t doing anything for me. I had to wonder, “Why am I broken, and how can I blame it on NECYPAA 36 host?”
Well, well, well — let me tell you. After a little 10th and 11th Step, I figured it out right proper. You see, I had found in my love for my fellows — dare I say *friends*, for whom I have acquired such a profound spiritual connection to and through — that the bottom-barrel stuff I used to pass off as quality content in my life wouldn’t cut it anymore.
It is now an ungodly hour, and I am crying at a highway roadside service plaza. I am no stranger to crying in the club, but for some reason this was worse. You see, this meant I was wrong about fundamental aspects of who I was and who I can be. I really am capable of change and growth beyond my comprehension. I really am capable of putting aside selfish thoughts and motivations in the interest of my fellows. In fact, I messed up so well that after what should have been a perfectly good day of nonsense, I was viscerally unsatisfied — in contrast to having been a being of love and compassion that I really still don’t understand, just a day before.
This all should have been mundane. Not everything needs a deep and philosophical meaning. But now I am so overwhelmed with gratitude and connection to others and my Higher Power that I cannot stop living in the blessings of a universe made so fundamentally of love that it defies understanding. And I didn’t even do that much to help that friend! What the fuck! Why am I crying — this isn’t the club.
No, dear friends, this is no club. This is NECYPAA 36 host — where you will come to, I don’t know, stroke your ego a bit, and leave a better person by such a magnitude that you’re unrecognizable.
I’ve got loads more of these. I intend to mine my last few months of inventories to provide y’all with some more content.
—Anonymous